for reasons unknown.

hello, dear.
my name is juliette, and i am waiting for you to tell me your name is romeo so we can fall in love and do absolutley nothing more than fall in love because honestly, you are all that i think about when i sit staring at a blank page wondering if maybe i could just write something that would let you know how you constantly sit in the front seat of my mind, yelling at the driver and causing such a distraction that i have to pull over just to tell you how i feel.

so this is me shifting gears and switching on the hazard lights because i seem to be reckless enough to forget to get my drivers license when i finally turned the correct age of helpless. i'm sitting on the side of the road near the interstate that has no barriers and i constantly worry in my head that i'll slip on a rock or a banana peel or a heartbeat and roll down the grassy hill into the river that i didn't know existed until i crashed in and hit my skull against the boulder but i could hear the current peddling away like a four year old on a tricycle maneuvering around a sidewalk in the suburbs.
this is me creating so many run on sentences and multiple aching eyes as i try and figure out how to tell you what i want from you.

but that's the thing.
i don't want anything.
the only thing i want is you.

but i guess that's where the trouble begins, isn't it?

i have known you for such a short time but yet it seems like ages. every song could be about me and every strum pattern could be the way my heartbeat sounds or the way i walk in that pair of boots my nana got me for christmas that i never really learned how to walk in. we could put a twist on the word soulmates, if you would let me try and breathe whenever you say my name.

i can't help but feel that you are supposed to be in my life, and i don't care in what way that seems to be because seeing you happy and hearing your voice everyday would just make me happy. you would make me happy. the way you wear your hair and play your guitar and the way you talk about your girlfriend, or the first time you fell in love or the first time you kissed her. quite frankly, i don't care. as long as i get to sit here listening to your voice and feeling this way and looking at you with my red hair falling my face and my blue eyes wide as i see your smile, directed at me.

i guess what i'm trying to say is that, i care about you. i could tell you i love you - because i do - but if i were ever to say i was in love with you i might be lying just a little; might be over exaggerating just about everything i want because i can't have it. i can't have it i can't have it i can't have it.

i know.
it kills me everyday.

i wish there was a way to get your voice and your eyes and your walk and the way your skin felt against mine for those brief seconds out of my head. maybe one day it will never have to leave.

so, in the meantime:

dear romeo,

until we meet again, know that i miss you. for reasons that have yet to be determined.

sincerely,
juliette.